For only 180 pesos, I bought the half roll Red Ribbon chocolate cake. I was sad when I was paying the cashier and watching her putting the cake in the small rectangular box.

I tried to keep the tears but it falls down uncontrollably. The turn out of this day’s event is really disappointing. I had plans. I said I wanted to make this day special for a very special person. Someone who have been living his life working and trying to earn more for everyday food. Someone who never had a fair share of abundance or luxury. Someone who married a woman who has a heart disease and take good care of her until her death.

Holding the 20 pesos change, still crying, I took the route home. It’s Friday and I’ll be going home early for that special someone’s birthday – my father. I can’t help but felt really really sad. I don’t wanna go home bringing only a small roll of cake. I wanted to buy more like maybe a gift then I will cook spaghetti, make salad, buy ice cream, etc. I feel hopeless. The only available money I have is already reserved for the bills payment (house rent, electric, water, internet, mineral water) and daily food allowances.

Few days ago, I was asking for a small amount contribution from my eldest brother and sister because I was planning to throw a small birthday party for Papa’s 65th birthday. But knowing that they are also facing financial problems, I did not expect a positive answer. They already have their own family priorities and me, being a single, is now the breadwinner whose in-charge of all financial related stuff.

Right before the sun sets, I was home.

As I opened the door, I composed myself and acted that everything is fine.
Papa went to church to hear mass, my brother said.
So I placed the cake in the refrigerator.
Let’s wait for Papa, I replied.

Then I locked myself in my room, cried, prayed and asked why my Mom in heaven did not help me to make this day special.